Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too