I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..