Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"