foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis