did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize