I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
