I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
