Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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