long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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