I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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