Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
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you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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