I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i came on her dog
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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