omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
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My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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