I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
