I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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