Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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