so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
