that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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