My Higher Power is John Stamos
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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