I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
