Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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