I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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