And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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