What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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