I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
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if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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