First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
