get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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