Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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