it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize