no, he came in my armpit
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
