dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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