scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
