You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
