So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
