you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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