I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
