I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
