Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
