I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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