So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
