Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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