Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
