I'm gonna have a badass scar
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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