i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
