I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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