do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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