My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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