Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
