Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
