I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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