He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
