Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
