You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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