It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
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I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
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I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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