You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
