The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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