I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
