my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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