so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
