During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
