I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
